CM Punk is one of the best talkers in wrestling history, with some of the best promos the wrestling industry has ever seen.
From his runs in ROH, WWE and AEW, he was not just an Elite worker. He was also the best in the ring, on the microphone and even on commentary. Simply put – nobody could touch him.
We would need a whole book to list out all of CM Punk’s amazing promos, so we’ll have to settle for this list of his best promos of all time.
In this article, we’ll talk about CM Punk’s best promos and the context behind them, revealing why they connected so hard with his loyal fanbase.
“Your Arms Are Just Too Short To Box With God”
CM Punk’s promo on The Rock in early 2013 was one of his best promos. It was one of his best promos because it was realistic, believable and put him on a level above everyone else in WWE.
When CM Punk (justifiably) turned on The Rock in 2012, fans could not believe their luck.
Two of the all-time great wrestlers on the microphone were going to feud, and trade insults live on Monday Night Raw!
There was no way they could disappoint. However, CM Punk took it one further, and completely destroyed The Rock on the microphone, multiple times.
However, the one just before their match at the 2013 Royal Rumble made The Rock look like Rocky Maivia. He spoke eloquently about how there was a glass ceiling that management would allow him to break, claiming himself to be a better champion than Hulk Hogan.
After The Rock interrupted him, he laid him out with a promo that nobody could match, ending with a legendary line in WWE history.
Rock, you just graduated from the kiddie table, but you just bit off more than you can chew. You’re playing little league with your little insults and your rhymes and your ‘millions and millions’ and your ‘finallys’.
And I’m in the big leagues and I’m swinging for the fence. You need to understand that your little jabs and your insults, it’s all kiddie games. You can’t leave a mark on the champ’s face. Come Royal Rumble, understand, when you step in the ring, your arms are just too short to box with God.”
“You’re Just A Less Famous Miz!”
The promo battles between MJF and CM Punk were amazing, but if we had to pick just one, it would be the first time the two stars shared a ring together.
After months of CM Punk refusing to acknowledge MJF as one of the top young stars in AEW, they came to a head in the ring of AEW Dynamite, with nothing but a microphone in their hand.
This is something AEW has been missing in Punk’s absence – two men, trading insults in the ring as the crowd watch on.
They both pulled out some funny lines, with MJF claiming that he’d never seen a straight-edge person “look so much like a meth addict”.
However, the line of the night came from CM Punk, who hilariously called MJF a “less-famous Miz”.
The rivalry would continue for months, and have some legendary promos from MJF, but this is the funnest promo CM Punk had in AEW.
“August 20th, 2021. I’m back. And I’m back for you”
After weeks of speculation and seven years of waiting, CM Punk finally made his return to wrestling.
This moment occurred on the second episode of AEW Rampage, broadcast live on August 20th, 2021. The crowd was the loudest you’ll ever hear, with the wave of emotion and relief being apparent as soon as the first few notes of “Cult of Personality” hit.
The promo that followed was one of CM Punk’s best. He spoke about why he left the WWE all those years ago, claiming it was the place that made him “sick”.
The promo could have been terrible, and the fans would have lapped it up, but a clearly happy and excited CM Punk sent all the crowd home happy with a fantastic monologue in his hometown.
Can I tell you a story? You see, I felt before like I had to leave. I didn’t want to, but I knew I couldn’t stay, and that was when I used to work for a place called Ring of Honor.
August 13th, 2005 was my last match in Ring of Honor, and I famously came out with tears in my eyes, and walking out here today, I now know why I was crying. And it was a lot of reasons. But what it boiled down to was, I had made a place where people could come work, get paid, learn their craft, and love professional wrestling.
And I cried because I knew I was leaving a place that I love, and it was a home, and I knew where I was going, wasn’t going to be easy for a guy like me. Because I’m one of you. So I look at it like this: August 13th, 2005, I left professional wrestling.
August 20th, 2021. I’m back. And I’m back for you.
“I’m Not Wrong In Seeing Greatness In You, But I’m A Fool For Holding You To That Standard”
A feud built on one promo is rarely impressive, yet the CM Punk vs Eddie Kingston rivalry is still one of the best in the history of AEW.
A real-life rivalry bled over into the show, as the long-time animosity between CM Punk and Eddie Kingston reared its ugly head.
The whole controversy was explained, as the pair traded insults in the ring. Eddie Kingston felt judged and held back by CM Punk, during their time together in Ring of Honor.
However, Punk claimed he merely expected more from Kingston and was let down by the AEW star. It was made clear that they didn’t like each other, and it made for one of the most exciting matches ever, at Full Gear 2021.
What else could be at the top of this list, other than the incredibly influential “Pipebomb” promo in WWE in 2011.
In the run up to Money in the Bank 2011, CM Punk had simply had enough. He knew he would never be pushed to the level of John Cena, among many other gripes he had with WWE management.
He had all intention to leave the WWE when his contract ended (the day before Money in the Bank 2011), after putting over John Cena in their WWE Championship match.
However, weeks prior, Vince McMahon gave him a live microphone to air his grievances on Monday Night Raw, handing him an opportunity very few would be afforded.
What happened next was one of the most important moments in wrestling history. CM Punk cut his best promo ever, blurring the lines between real and Kayfabe in the most engaging way ever.
He tore down the WWE’s over pushing of John Cena, lamenting how he was passed over despite his incredible career so far. He referenced Colt Cabana (then in Ring of Honor), as well as Paul Heyman, who had not been in the WWE for 6 years at that point.
His promo broke the internet, and made CM Punk the biggest star he’d ever been. Mixing it in with the story of him leaving the company, he won the WWE Championship in his hometown at Money in the Bank, creating one of the greatest moments in WWE history.
This promo is CM Punk’s best because of the content, delivery and the impact it had on the professional wrestling business, as a whole.